Tuesday, December 20, 2011

From the Step-mom

A friend of mine posted on her facebook page "One of the hardest things in life is watching someone you love, loving someone else. " by unknown. Then a friend of hers replied, "It could be watching the the children you carried in your belly loving their stepmother. " And that really hurt. I don't know this woman, nor, from her one comment do I EVER want to know this woman, but who the heck does she think she is? Is the step mom abusive to her kids & they love her anyway? Is the step mom mean to them & they love her anyway? Does she neglect them & they love her anyway? Does the step mom speak evil of the "real mom" & the kids love her anyway?  Why is it such a bad thing that her kids love their step mom? Or does the step mom love those kids unconditionally just because they are her husbands kids & the kids love her anyway? Why would this "real mom" begrudge her children love from or for another person? Is her self esteem so low that she thinks that step mom could EVER replace the love her children have for her? Or is she just selfish? Or is she a bad parent and mad that her kids don't love her and is looking to blame someone else for the sucky job she is doing? As you can tell, this statement really bothered me. I'm a step mom. I have two step daughters. They both have mothers they love very much. I come in a distant third! (behind their dad) but I'm extremely grateful that they are able to love me as their father's wife. I've never tried to replace their mothers position in their life, it would be a losing battle and there would be much unhappiness on all fronts. Maybe that mom wants her kids to be like a student I overheard while subbing one time. This student went on to brag as to how she put salt in an open container of pop her mom was drinking and a few other awful things she had done. Really? Is that how we were taught to get along? There are many things I don't agree with in the parenting realm of one mother, but ya know what, there isn't anything I can do about it. They aren't my kids. I can love them as much as possible while they are in my house and care for them and teach them while they are here, but at the end of the weekend, they go home, and I have no say as to what goes on outside my house. So, for those of you that have to deal with a step mom, think about how life would be in her shoes, and don't begrudge anyone that would have love for your child.

2 comments:

Ginny Hartman said...

I think you're exactly right and awesome! I have a step mom that I love and adore. And my mom is grateful that we have someone else in our lives who loves us too. That last must be really insecure and selfish. She's only hurting herself and teaching her kids a sad lesson.

Team Burtenshaw said...

Ya know, it is sad what insecurity can do, I saw it first hand too after Brian died w his ex. All I wanted to do was love... and she would have none of it. You are awesome, and you keep on loving. Some people just don't get it. ...I'm sorry that hurt you, if I knew them, I'd give them a piece of my mind as well :)!!