Monday, December 16, 2013
Frustration
We talked to the case worker in Oregon last week. She asked a bazillion questions. Most of them pretty hard. For example: What will you do when all 4 of the kids melt down at once, and what about their special needs, how will you address each individually, and why do you want THESE kids specifically? ugh! we thought we had answered pretty well. Sean said a prayer before we even started and answers from us seemed to flow. thennnnn.......I got an email on saturday. Actually I read it on Sunday cause I always forget to read my email on the weekend, but something (someOne) told me to check. So I did. grrr, what the hell?! Now they want to know how far in debt we are and what we are doing about it and do we have money in savings for emergencies. And what are we planning on doing to attach with these kids. And how exactly am I going to be able to work from home and take care of the youngest child. And you were in therapy at one type, can you tell me why and if it helped...... The "what the hell" is because people can have biological kids everyday and no one asks them these questions. If they did I guess there wouldn't be any kids for us to adopt, but STILL!!!!! What parent knows when they have a kid how things are going to go? not a single damn one of them. They have ideas, just like we do, but I can pretty much guaran-damn-tee half or more won't work, and then we'll be back to square one and need to reassess the situation and try something else. Either way, we find out tomorrow. We'll see what happens. On another note, the courts out there were supposed to terminate parental rights last week but the bio-dad's lawyer motioned the court to wait until after his trial for sexual abuse was completed. Not that the kids haven't had to deal with all kinds of other stuff and that's low on the totem pole as to why the kids were pulled from the home, but anyway. The court granted the motion, so now the rights won't be terminated until April. We don't really know how this will impact us because we don't know where the other family that we are "competing" with is from. If they are from Oregon, it might tip things in their favor. sigh. tomorrow is going to be a long day!
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2 comments:
I agree. Who goes into parenthood knowing exactly how they will deal with every issue that comes along? No one! Even if you are well prepared, all those plans can go out the door at any moment. I am so sorry this has been such a long and frustrating process. You just want to help these children, to love them, and raise them well. You and Sean are great parents to the girls. Things will work out when they are supposed to. Here's to hoping this is the time! Praying for you!!!! Hugs!!!
I'm just reading this now, but it did fill in a few holes as to why things stopped moving in December. As I read it, I wondered if you answered the way you blogged, that biological parents don't know how things are going to pan out in the moment or during a particular situation, so how are you supposed to know ahead of time. I wonder what the case worker would have said if you did respond that way. I also would have said that you can't have a blanket response for all 4 kids. What works for one may send another one over the edge. (Just look at B and K - they are sisters, but SO different sometimes as to what works for them, and even their personalities are so different.) You could compare the three of us for that argument as well, I guess. :)
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