up, down, up, down, down, up

Which direction were we going again? Oh, right, we aren't going anywhere. At least not at the moment. I guess the case worker that was interested in us in Oregon isn't interested anymore. Haven't heard anything from that area in over a month. sigh. We thought we had a line on 3 kids about 2 hours from here. The case worker there is really interested in us, had a little confusion with how many kids we can have in our house. I wish I could have talked to her to tell her that at any given time we have 4 empty beds in our house, all made & ready to go. Most days we have 6 empty beds and just 4 days a month those extra 2 have someone in them. So I think we are good. Our case worker has been trying to get in touch with her the past week, well I guess now there is a bump in the road because the foster family has decided that they want the kids. oy, okay. I guess they didn't want them before, but now they do. whatever. can I just find my kids, PLEASE?!! There was an adoption celebration thing last weekend at the zoo that Sean and I went to, we finally met our case worker face to face. She's been great to work with over email, but we had never actually met her, so it was nice to finally put a face to the name and the emails. She is really great. She told us that Oregon was great to work with but they were also one of the slowest states to work with. great, just what I wanted to hear. So, we wait some more. Have I mentioned that I'm not a patient person?

Shut yo MOUTH!!

Oh my gosh, why can't I keep my mouth shut?! Sean accuses me of being a social butterfly, something I don't deny. but man, with this adoption stuff I need to SHUT THE HECK UP!! We got an email from our case worker last week that a case worker in another county wanted us to come for an interview. Never having been through this process before and because we neglected to ask lots more questions, we got REALLY excited. We were thinking that we might be getting kids this weekend. hahahahhaha, uh, no. I feel like the girl who cried "wolf," like every other flippin' day. sigh. I'm so mad at myself. It's like this never ending yoyo thing and oh, maybe we'll get these kids, oh, maybe we won't. ugh. just let me get off this damn ride please. And I tell people. like every time. Just SHUT UP!! but the filter on my mouth isn't working. so I tell people, there might be a possibility, we  MIGHT be getting some kids, we have an interview, etc, etc. And since we have some awesome friends they get excited for us. and then nothing happens. or we get rejected, or we don't hear anything else. Like the kids in Oregon, it's been over 2 weeks. nothing. not a peep, so I guess we didn't make that short list. I guess I should be grateful, since the roller coaster that we will be getting on, once we get off this one will be even more crazy! But it's kinda hard to enjoy anything when you feel like a complete manic-depressant all within one hour. now, the case worker needs to email me back. like, NOW!

Roller Coaster riding

Maybe I should have titled this "Hurdles from Hell." On facebook I posted that adopting children is like running the 400 meters hurdles. I don't think most of my friends on facebook have a clue how hard that race is! They all said, but you're halfway there. (My original post mentioned being on the 4th or 5th hurdle) When you run those or even the 300 hurdles, you hurt at the end. They suck, plain & simple. It's a sprint, but a long one, that has 10 hurdles in it. One time around the track, yeah, it sucks and it's painful. I can't tell you how many times I've hit the last hurdle and crashed, or the third to last hurdle and crashed, or even as early as the second one. I still have the cinders in my knees and legs to prove it. So this adoption "race" is like those hurdles. We had a group in AZ that we looked hard at and the case worker there was looking at us. But the one HUGE hurdle was that the kids are Native American. yep, you guessed it, once it was known that some white people wanted those kids, someone from the tribe stepped up. I just pray that they will be okay and will be happy. And in the 300/400 hurdles that would be like one of the workers forgetting to lower the hurdle in between the girls and the boys heats and you have to jump a REALLY tall hurdle. Yeah, you usually face plant on those. not fun. So we are back at the starting line again. We put our profile out for some kids out west again and have heard from the case worker. We'll see how far we get in this heat (that would be what you call a prelim race you have to win to get into the finals, in case you didn't know ;)) Hopefully we make it to the finals. It's worse than a roller coaster! At least with a roller coaster you know when it will end, and you don't have to do anything, just sit there and take what comes.