Today was not a good day

If you don't want to be depressed, don't read:) Cause I'm depressed. kinda. Sad, disheartened, frustrated, angry, should i go on? I found out today yet another one of my friends is pregnant, and they've only been married 5 months. WHAT?!!!!! That puts the number up to 10!! WHY???? Life is so stinkin unfair. If you you are wondering what brings on this rant, Sean and I have been trying for 2 YEARS!!! Can we say frustrated? I'm so happy for those of my friends that have met with success in this venture:) Seriously, I am. But it's so incredibly hard to hear about it, over, and over, and over, and over, and over.... you get my drift. Meanwhile, we are still going to Dr.'s after Dr.'s and no one can figure out what is wrong. Luckily, other than being hypoglycemic, hormonely there is nothing wrong, at least in general. I'm just insane once a month:) And let me tell ya, that once a month pshychosis gets harder and harder to deal with as time goes by. 2 more tests to do before we just throw up our hands and say, "screw it, we're outta luck." Maybe we'll get lucky and they will figure it out, maybe my life sucks and they won't and we won't be able to have kids for 2 more years because we are poor and can't afford IVF, until I'm done with school and have a real job. Okay, maybe I should stop for now. My rant needs to be over, but I am having a really hard time dealing and I don't know what else to do, so I'm cyber dumping. There is a little hope out there for me, and I'm stuggling to hold on. At the temple, I was told I would have a baby, okay, that is good. I think He meant this life. Had a sonogram today, had follicles, so yep have eggs, that's a good sign, won't have to borrow anyones. Okay, SO WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG????!!!!!! AAAARGH, I hate this. Sean made the mistake one day of saying that maybe we were supposed to wait until I got done with school. Bad idea. I used our friends in Williamsburg that are all in law school as an example. Then asked, what, just because I'm the mom, I can't have a child while going to school? He hasn't brought that up again. Okay, I think I'm done now. Or at least I should be done, so I'm stopping now. Hopefully in a few months, I'll soon be able to send out good news, of a much happier sort:) Who knows, maybe Heavenly Father thinks I haven't learned the lesson I'm supposed to yet. I just wish I could get a hint on what it is I'm supposed to learn, so I can learn it quicker. Oy, vey:)